Growing Up Drug Free:
A Parent's Guide to Prevention
Chapter 5: How To Teach Your Child About Drugs
Preschoolers
It may seem premature to talk about drugs with preschoolers, but the
attitudes and habits that they form at this age have an important bearing on the
decisions they will make when they're older. At this early age, they are eager
to know and memorize rules, and they want your opinion on what's "bad"
and what's "good." Although they are old enough to understand that
smoking is bad for them, they're not ready to take in complex facts about
alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Nevertheless, this is a good time to practice
the decision-making and problem-solving skills that they will need to say
"no" later on.
Here are some ways to help your preschool children make good decisions about
what should and should not go into their bodies:
- Discuss why children need healthy food. Have your child name several
favorite good foods and explain how these foods contribute to health and
strength.
- Set aside regular times when you can give your son or daughter your
full attention. Get on the floor and play with him; learn about her likes and
dislikes; let him know that you love him; say that she's too wonderful and
unique to do drugs. You'll build strong bonds of trust and affection that will
make turning away from drugs easier in the years to come.
- Provide guidelines like playing fair, sharing toys, and telling the
truth so children know what kind of behavior you expect from them.
- Encourage your child to follow instructions, and to ask questions if
he does not understand the instructions.
- When your child becomes frustrated at play, use the opportunity to
strengthen problem-solving skills. For example, if a tower of blocks keeps
collapsing, work together to find possible solutions. Turning a bad situation
into a success reinforces a child's self-confidence.
- Whenever possible, let your child choose what to wear. Even if the
clothes don't quite match, you are reinforcing your child's ability to make
decisions.
- Point out poisonous and harmful substances commonly found in homes,
such as bleach, kitchen cleanser, and furniture polish, and read the products'
warning labels out loud. Explain to your children that not all "bad"
drugs have warnings on them, so they should only eat or smell food or a
prescribed medicine that you, a grandparent, or a babysitter give them.
- Explain that prescription medications are drugs that can help the
person for whom they are meant but that can harm anyone else — especially
children, who must stay away from them.
Kindergarten through third grade (5 — 8 years old)
A child this age usually shows increasing interest in the world outside the
family and home. Now is the time to begin to explain what alcohol, tobacco, and
drugs are, that some people use them even though they are harmful, and the
consequences of using them. Discuss how anything you put in your body that is
not food can be extremely harmful. How drugs interfere with the way our bodies
work and can make a person very sick or even cause them to die. (Most children
of this age have had real-life experiences with a death of a relative or the
relative of someone at school.) Explain the idea of addiction — that drug use can
become a very bad habit that is hard to stop. Praise your children for taking
good care of their bodies and avoiding things that might harm them.
By the time your children are in third grade, they should understand:
- how foods, poisons, medicines, and illegal drugs differ;
- how medicines prescribed by a doctor and administered by a responsible
adult may help during illness but can be harmful if misused, so children need to
stay away from any unknown substance or container;
- why adults may drink but children may not, even in small amounts — it's
harmful to children's developing brains and bodies.
Grades four through six (9 — 11 years old)
Continue to take a strong stand about drugs. At this age, children can handle
more sophisticated discussion about why people are attracted to drugs. You can
use their curiosity about major traumatic events in people's lives (like a car
accident or divorce) to discuss how drugs can cause these events. Children this
age also love to learn facts, especially strange ones, and they want to know how
things work. This age group can be fascinated by how drugs affect a user's brain
or body. Explain how anything taken in excess — whether it's cough medicine or
aspirin — can be dangerous.
Friends — either a single best friend or a group of friends — are extremely
important during this time, as is fitting in and being seen as
"normal." When children enter middle or junior high school, they leave
their smaller, more protective surroundings and join a much larger, less
intimate crowd of preteens. These older children may expose your child to
alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Research shows that the earlier children begin using
these substances, the more likely they are to experience serious problems. It is
essential that your child's anti-drug attitudes be strong before entering middle
school or junior high.
Before leaving elementary school, your children should know:
- the immediate effects of alcohol, tobacco, and drug use on different
parts of the body, including risks of coma or fatal overdose;
- the long-term consequences — how and why drugs can be addicting and make
users lose control of their lives;
- the reasons why drugs are especially dangerous for growing bodies;
- the problems that alcohol and other illegal drugs cause not only to
the user, but the user's family and world.
Rehearse potential scenarios in which friends offer drugs. Have your children
practice delivering an emphatic "That stuff is really bad for you!"
Give them permission to use you as an excuse: "My mom will kill me if I
drink a beer!" "Upsetting my parents" is one of the top reasons
preteens give for why they won't use marijuana.
Teach your children to be aware of how drugs and alcohol are promoted.
Discuss how advertising, song lyrics, movies, and TV shows bombard them with
messages that using alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs is glamorous. Make sure
that they are able to separate the myths of alcohol, tobacco, and other drug use
from the realities, and praise them for thinking for themselves.
Get to know your children's friends, where they hang out, and what they like
to do. Make friends with the parents of your children's friends so you can
reinforce each others' efforts. You'll feel in closer touch with your child's
daily life and be in a better position to recognize trouble spots. (A child
whose friends are all using drugs is very likely to be using them, too.)
Children this age really appreciate this attention and involvement. In fact,
two-thirds of fourth-graders polled said that they wished their parents would
talk more with them about drugs.
Grades seven through nine (12 — 14 years old)
A common stereotype holds that teenagers are rebellious, are ruled by peer
pressure, and court danger even to the point of self-destructiveness. Although
teens do often seem unreceptive to their parents as they struggle to become
independent, teens need parental support, involvement, and guidance more than
ever.
Young teens can experience extreme and rapid shifts in their bodies,
emotional lives, and relationships. Adolescence is often a confusing and
stressful time, characterized by mood changes and deep insecurity, as teens
struggle to figure out who they are and how to fit in while establishing their
own identities. It's not surprising that this is the time when many young people
try alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs for the first time.
Parents may not realize that their young teens feel surrounded by drug use.
Nearly nine out of ten teens agree that "it seems like marijuana is
everywhere these days." Teens are twice as likely to be using marijuana as
parents believe they are, and teens are getting high in the places that parents
think are safe havens, such as around school, at home, and at friends'
houses.
Although teens may not show they appreciate it, parents profoundly shape the
choices their children make about drugs. Take advantage of how much young people
care about social image and appearance to point out the immediate, distasteful
consequences of tobacco and marijuana use — for example, that smoking causes bad
breath and stained teeth and makes clothes and hair smell. At the same time, you
should discuss drugs' long-term effects:
- the lack of crucial social and emotional skills ordinarily learned
during adolescence;
- the risk of lung cancer and emphysema from smoking;
- fatal or crippling car accidents and liver damage from heavy
drinking;
- addiction, brain coma, and death
Grades ten through twelve (15 — 17 years old)
Older teens have already had to make decisions many times about whether to
try drugs or not. Today's teens are savvy about drug use, making distinctions
not only among different drugs and their effects, but also among trial,
occasional use, and addiction. They witness many of their peers using drugs — some
without obvious or immediate consequences, others whose drug use gets out of
control.
To resist peer pressure, teens need more than a general message not to use
drugs. It's now also appropriate to mention how alcohol, tobacco, and other drug
consumption during pregnancy has been linked with birth defects in newborns.
Teens need to be warned of the potentially deadly effects of combining drugs.
They need to hear a parent's assertion that anyone can become a chronic user or
an addict and that even non-addicted use can have serious permanent
consequences.
Because most high school students are future oriented, they are more likely
to listen to discussions of how drugs can ruin chances of getting into a good
college, being accepted by the military, or being hired for certain jobs.
Teenagers tend to be idealistic and enjoy hearing about ways they can help make
the world a better place. Tell your teens that drug use is not a victimless
crime, and make sure they understand the effect that drug use has on our
society. Appeal to your teen by pointing out how avoiding illegal drugs helps
make your town a safer, better place, and how being drug-free leaves more energy
to volunteer after school for tutoring or coaching younger kids — activities the
community is counting on.
Your teenager may be aware of the debate over the legalization of marijuana
and whether or not doctors should be able to prescribe it for medicinal
purposes. The idea that there might be legitimate health advantages to an
illegal drug is confusing. Now that your teenager is old enough to understand
the complexities of this issue, it is important to discuss it at some
point — perhaps during a teachable moment inspired by a news report. You may want
to let your teen know that the ingredient in marijuana that has some medicinal
value — delta-9- tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) — can already be prescribed by doctors in
a pill form that doesn't contain the cancer-causing substances of smoked
marijuana. Other medical painkillers include codeine and morphine, both of which
have been determined safe for prescription use after rigorous testing and review
by scientific medical organizations.
It is important that parents praise and encourage teens for all the things
they do well and for the positive choices they make. When you are proud of your
son or daughter, tell him or her. Knowing they are seen and appreciated by the
adults in their lives is highly motivating and can shore up their commitments to
avoid drug use. Your teen may also be impressed by the importance of serving as
a good role model for a younger brother or sister.
Questions children frequently ask about drugs
Q. Why would people want to put bad things into their bodies?
A. One answer might be that they might not realize how dangerous the bad
things are; another is that they are not taking care of themselves. Sometimes
people start using a drug just to see what it feels like, but it can turn into
an addiction (like cigarettes) and it's very hard to stop.
Q. Why are some drugs good for you and some drugs wrong for you to take?
A. You can discuss how drugs are powerful chemicals that change the way you
feel. Doctors prescribe medicine to make sick people better — these are
"good" drugs. "Bad" drugs are ones that aren't given by
doctors and don't make you better; in fact, they can harm your body. That is why
it is wrong to take these "bad" drugs.
Q. Why can't I taste that "grown–up" drink?
A. A small amount of alcohol has a much greater negative effect on a child's
body than on an adult's; even a small amount can sicken a child.
Q. Did you smoke marijuana when you were young?
A. Don't give your child more information than necessary. If the answer is
"yes," give the reasons why you feel you made a mistake; for instance,
it made you feel out of control, you missed schoolwork, messed up in sports, let
down your friends or lost touch with them. Also explain that more is known about
the harmful effects of marijuana and other drugs now.
When your child enters middle school or junior high
This year is both an exciting and challenging time for children. They're
little fish in a big pond and desperately want to fit in. Because your children
may now see older students using alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs and may think
they are cool and self-assured, your children may be tempted to try drugs, too.
Drug use goes up dramatically in the first year of middle school or junior
high.
No matter where you live, your children will be exposed to all kinds of drugs
from now on, so you need to be familiar with all the information about drugs
that they may be receiving. The names of drugs and methods of manufacture and
ingestion change constantly, so look over the pictures of drugs, paraphernalia,
and slang terms on the drug chart on pages 34-39. At this time when peer
approval means everything, your children may make you feel unwelcome. But while
your children are pulling away from you to establish their own identities or may
seem to be embarrassed by you, they need you to be involved in their lives more
than ever before.
To help your children make good choices during this critical phase, you
should:
- Make sure they're well-versed in the reasons to avoid alcohol,
tobacco, and drugs;
- Get to know their friends by taking them to and from after-school
activities, games, the library, and movies (while being sensitive to their need
to feel independent);
- Volunteer for activities where you can observe your child at
school;
- Get acquainted with the parents of your children's friends and learn
about their children's interests and habits. If it seems that your child is
attracted to those with bad habits, reiterate why drug use is unacceptable.
Drug Myths vs. Reality
While you are teaching the facts about drugs, your child is getting lots of
misinformation and mythology from peers. Be aware and be ready to address the
half-truths and misinformation that children hear and believe, such as:
Myth: Marijuana is not harmful because it is "all natural" and
comes from a plant.
Truth: Marijuana smoke contains some of the same cancer-causing compounds as
tobacco, sometimes in higher concentrations.
Myth: It's okay to use marijuana as long as you're not a chronic user or
"stoner."
Truth: Occasional use can lead to frequent use.
Myth: Because sniffing powdered heroin doesn't require needles, it isn't very
risky (40% of the high school seniors polled do not believe there is a great
risk in trying heroin).
Truth: Heroin is dangerous no matter how it's ingested. Once addicted to
heroin, users may eventually switch to injecting the drug because it's cheaper.
Myth: Drugs are not that dangerous and I can handle it.
Truth: Drug use is extremely unpredictable and affects people differently.
Anyone can become addicted to drugs.
Myth: Everyone is doing it.
Truth: Research shows that more than four out of five eighth graders have not
used drugs in the past month. Even among high school seniors (the group with the
highest rate of marijuana use), only a quarter of those polled in a national
study reported using the drug in the last month. In any given school, most
students aren't doing drugs.
Medical marijuana update
If your teen is interested in the debate about whether or not marijuana
should be legal in certain circumstances, you can state the facts: Voters'
referenda are appearing in some states to legalize marijuana for medical use.
Some supporters of medical marijuana are genuinely concerned with exploring
the potential for providing sick people with relief from their suffering; others
are using the issue to change drug laws in America and to legalize illegal
drugs, principally marijuana.
To protect consumers, medical protocol is set by health authorities and not
determined by popular vote. The Food and Drug Administration withholds approval
of a drug until studies strongly indicate that it is safe and effective for its
intended use. Unless such studies determine that marijuana used medically fits
that description, the American Medical Association recommends that the drug not
be prescribed or used for medical purposes.
Tobacco and teens: a bad combination
Unfortunately, increased awareness about the hazards of tobacco smoking has
not deterred many teens. In fact, the percentage of high school seniors who
smoke has gone up since 1983. One reason may be that teenagers are notorious for
not worrying about death — it seems a long way off. They may even convince
themselves that by the time they're adults, cancer and the other heart and lung
diseases that smoking causes will be cured.
If you discover your son or daughter smoking, experts say you should tell him
or her to quit immediately and that smoking is not tolerated. You need to be
firm but supportive; let your child know you realize that breaking tobacco
addiction is difficult for anyone, regardless of age. Understand that a child
who is an addicted smoker may relapse and will need encouragement. Although
relapses on the road to abstinence may recur, always make it clear that quitting
is imperative. If your child can't seem to quit independently, seek help from
your family physician who may prescribe medication or direct your child to an
anti-smoking program.
Five sons — many lessons
Marty H., Cincinnati, Ohio, married, father of five sons, ages 8 to 18:
"My wife and I became concerned about our oldest son when he was a
sophomore in high school. He started changing friends, and we suspected that he
might be using drugs. So we attended a workshop run by a local parents' group.
We started talking about drugs with and around the kids; now we don't shy away
from the topic. We're not evangelical, but we state firmly how drug use is
unacceptable in our house. We've also tried to lower the decibel level here and
to listen to each other better. We manage to have dinner together several times
each week.
"We also learned that it's helpful to give your kids an excuse to say
'no' to drugs. They can say 'I'd love to try it. I'm as cool as you are, but my
parents are wackos!'
"Since we attended the workshop, our son has really come around, and his
grades are consistently good. The younger boys haven't gone through any rough
spots, and I think it's due in large part to what we're doing at home. My wife
and I were kids of the '60s, and I think a lot of us fear seeming hypocritical.
But I'd rather have my child think I'm a hypocrite and be alive and have a
chance to mature and grow older."
Table of Contents
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Source: US Department of Education - 1998
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Alcohol
and Teens
Alcohol
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Alcohol
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Talk
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Marijuana
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